{"product_id":"nobody-knows-i-eat-cereal-for-dinner-funny-adulting-satire-shirt","title":"Nobody Knows I Eat Cereal For Dinner Funny Adulting Satire Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eDinner is a social construct. Cereal has grains. Grains are food. Food at dinnertime is dinner. This is basic logic and you will not be lectured.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe confession sits in dark grey below the zipper face — close enough to read if someone squints, far enough from visible to protect your reputation at dinner parties you don't attend because you're home eating cereal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eNobody knows. The empty boxes in the recycling, however, are talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003ePart of the Guilty Kick Nobody Knows collection — wearable confessions for adults making extremely adult decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e100% cotton. Black. Unisex fit. Milk not included. Judgment not included either.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Lightweight 100% cotton body (heathers contain 10% polyester) — 4.3 oz\/yd² (146 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Classic crew neckline with ribbed knit collar and seam for shape retention\u003cbr\u003e- Side seams and shoulder tape for improved structure and reduced stretching\u003cbr\u003e- Direct-to-Film (DTF) sleeve print for crisp, durable graphics\u003cbr\u003e- Compliant with EU REACH, made in Honduras, 2-year EU warranty\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Solid Black \/ XS","offer_id":48902919192805,"sku":"33121074341269327196","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ S","offer_id":48902919225573,"sku":"83221104189786905283","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ M","offer_id":48902919258341,"sku":"27805475979572074867","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ L","offer_id":48902919291109,"sku":"24610931679548082343","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ XL","offer_id":48902919323877,"sku":"40092329115808792215","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":48902919356645,"sku":"24696852816275732658","price":22.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":48902919389413,"sku":"14465740234107875892","price":25.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":48902919422181,"sku":"31851681593930258971","price":28.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":48902919454949,"sku":"23583420949029141169","price":30.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0779\/2544\/9957\/files\/nobody-knows-i-eat-cereal-for-dinner-funny-adulting-satire-shirtguilty-kick-apparel-9322216.png?v=1777389130","url":"https:\/\/guiltykick.com\/products\/nobody-knows-i-eat-cereal-for-dinner-funny-adulting-satire-shirt","provider":"Guilty Kick Apparel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}