{"product_id":"nobody-knows-i-know-how-to-pole-dance-funny-fitness-satire-tee","title":"Nobody Knows I Know How To Pole Dance Funny Fitness Satire Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eIt's a legitimate athletic skill. Requires core strength, flexibility, upper body control, and the ability to keep a completely straight face when someone asks what you did over the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou said yoga. That's basically the same thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe confession lives below the zipper face in dark grey — close enough to read if someone's paying attention, invisible enough to maintain plausible deniability. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eNobody knows. And yet here you are, buying the shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003ePart of the Guilty Kick Nobody Knows collection — wearable confessions for people whose hobbies require a separate explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Lightweight 100% cotton body (heathers contain 10% polyester) — 4.3 oz\/yd² (146 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e- Classic crew neckline with ribbed knit collar and seam for shape retention\u003cbr\u003e- Side seams and shoulder tape for improved structure and reduced stretching\u003cbr\u003e- Direct-to-Film (DTF) sleeve print for crisp, durable graphics\u003cbr\u003e- Compliant with EU REACH, made in Honduras, 2-year EU warranty\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Solid Black \/ XS","offer_id":48902952059109,"sku":"21963536993023458783","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ S","offer_id":48902952091877,"sku":"19197704187090358182","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ M","offer_id":48902952124645,"sku":"10536425749482866469","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ L","offer_id":48902952157413,"sku":"26199077910173761167","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ XL","offer_id":48902952190181,"sku":"27779654263968664796","price":18.36,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":48902952222949,"sku":"14576355168225098436","price":22.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":48902952255717,"sku":"31190692774283268310","price":25.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":48902952288485,"sku":"77984152612135765372","price":28.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":48902952321253,"sku":"13467040209447487864","price":30.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0779\/2544\/9957\/files\/nobody-knows-i-know-how-to-pole-dance-funny-fitness-satire-teeguilty-kick-apparel-8872196.png?v=1777389129","url":"https:\/\/guiltykick.com\/products\/nobody-knows-i-know-how-to-pole-dance-funny-fitness-satire-tee","provider":"Guilty Kick Apparel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}