Nobody Knows My Plants All Died From Neglect Funny Black Thumb Plant Parent Satire T-Shirt

You bought the misting bottles. You curated the aesthetic terra cotta pots. You even gave them sophisticated, overly pretentious names—and then you completely forgot they existed. Welcome to the dark side of the urban jungle trend. Keep your serial plant-homicide under wraps with this latest confession from our "Nobody Knows" collection. Featuring our signature minimalist zipper-face icon and a grit-textured vintage typewriter font, this tee is a silent weapon against the overbearing wholesome energy of the "plant parent" community. It is the ultimate uniform for anyone whose domestic aesthetic relies entirely on strategic incompetence and the silent hope that guests won't inspect the crispy brown foliage in the corner. Perfectly blending our classic corporate-grade cynicism with everyday domestic failure, this shirt lets you maintain your curated lifestyle image without ever having to risk water schedules or proper drainage. Wear it to your next trip to the nursery to replace your casualties, a farmers market, or just to lounge on your couch next to a collection of sad, empty pots. Urban gardening on the outside, absolute botanical neglect on the inside.

Product features - Ribbed knit collar with seam for shape retention - With side seams for structural support - Shoulder tape for stability - Unisex tee for adults - Light fabric with classic fit - 100% cotton - Great for accessorizing and all-season wear Care instructions - Do not dry-clean - Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F) - Do not bleach - Tumble dry: low heat - Iron, steam or dry: low heat