Confess.
Don’t pretend like you don’t love reality TV. Or that you can pronounce charcuterie. Or that you’re wearing pants on video conference calls. We know better.
What's your kick? Vintage parody? 70s nostalgia? Talking vegetables? Horribly unsafe vintage inventions? We have something for everyone. And also, something for no one. That's just who we are. Who are you?
Reveal yourself. And own it.
Introducing
The guilty kick way
Most brands have a "vision." We have a 400-page legal transcript involving a stolen 1970s printing press and a parrot named The Auditor. We don't design shirts because we want to; we do it because the court order was very specific about our community service requirements. It’s a long story involving high-level bureaucracy, a lot of vintage ink, and of course, Gary. It's got his dereliction of duty all over it.
New Arrivals
These new T-shirts will boost your self-esteem by 14%, according to Gary. He's no scientist, but he looks like one.
Identity
Please select your identity and own it. Otherwise, people might mistake you for someone who enjoys small talk about the weather.
Vintage
Return to a simpler time when 'wireless' just meant your rotary phone cord was long enough to reach the kitchen pantry.
Posters
Hang your humor. Frame your identity.
Introducing
Nobody Knows
It’s not as discreet as spandex under a business suit, but it has a certain muted Je ne sais quoi. We all have guilty pleasures. Confess. Don’t be shy (you really wear socks to bed?). These shirts are for the embarrassingly niche, the boastfully weird, and the personal truths that would cause a "system error" in most social settings. We’ve kept the slogans subtle so you can wear your psyche on your sleeve without triggering a mandatory HR evaluation. It’s a secret handshake in fabric form.
Some things aren’t meant to be announced. Just worn.
Mood & Statement
Vintage Parody Graphic Tees
For people who love their pets more than most humans. No explanation needed.
Pets
