Confess.
Don’t pretend like you don’t love reality TV. Or that you can pronounce charcuterie. Or that you’re wearing pants on video calls. We're not judging. We are, however, watching.
The Nobody Knows signature collection is the guilty pleasure you wear in plain sight. There are others like you. So wear your confession proudly and let the right weirdos find you.
own it.
The Nobody Knows CONFESSIONS
Introducing
Other Confessions
Some confessions don’t use words. Some use a banana in a trench coat or put a whole apple in an appletini. Vintage mistakes that we exploit and make fun of now.
We have fresh produce in existential crisis. Horribly unsafe vintage inventions. Current complaints about your domestic pet partners. Minimalist movie parodies with shapes: you get it immediately or… probably never. If you get it, confess and join an exclusive club where the perk is: you’re not alone.
There’s something for everyone. Also, something for no one. We’re comfortable with that. It’s who we are.
Who are you?
New Arrivals
Fresh from the Warehouse: Our logistics department finally found these under a pile of 1984 tax returns. Get them before they disappear again. And don't worry, we stopped using formaldehyde and phthalates in the 1970s,
Introducing
The guilty kick way
Most brands have a "vision." We have a 400-page legal transcript involving a stolen 1970s printing press and a parrot named The Auditor. We don't design shirts because we want to; we do it because the court order was very specific about our community service requirements. It’s a long story involving high-level bureaucracy, a lot of vintage ink, and of course, Gary. It's got his dereliction of duty all over it.
Introducing
Guilty Kick Branded tees
This is way too soon to sell branded tees. NOBODY KNOWS who we are. Well, maybe a few people. Gary has been wearing the branded tees for a week now, working in his office in the basement. Needless to say, he's not increasing brand awareness. Makes me wonder...
Posters
Hang your humor. Frame your identity. Confess right there in your living room. Evaluate you guests. If they don't' get it, they don't get invited back. Or, invite them back and judge them. Either way.
