Salem 1692 Buoyancy Test Guidelines T-Shirt | Vintage Witch Trials Parody Graphic Tee, Funny Dark Humor Simpler Times Halloween Shirt
Description
Longing for the straightforward logic of the good old days? Welcome to 17th-century colonial problem solving: if you sink, you're innocent; if you float, you're a witch. Either way, the weekend plans are ruined. A darkly comedic highlight from the Guilty Kick Halloween Collection, this satirical graphic tee breaks down the official Salem 1692 Buoyancy Test Guidelines with deadpan perfection. Featuring distressed colonial typography, wave graphics, a zipped-lip mascot bobbing in murky waters, and the cynical verdict "The Beauty of Simpler Times," this shirt turns historic paranoia into premium sarcastic street style. Printed on ultra-soft, breathable combed ring-spun cotton, it’s a must-have for history nerds, dark comedy fans, sarcastic introverts, and anyone who appreciates a no-win scenario.
Product features - Ribbed knit collar with seam for shape retention - With side seams for structural support - Shoulder tape for stability - Unisex tee for adults - Light fabric with classic fit - 100% cotton - Great for accessorizing and all-season wear Care instructions - Do not dry clean - Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F) - Do not bleach - Tumble dry: low heat - Iron, steam or dry: low heat
Product Details
Product Features
- Ribbed knit collar with seam for long-lasting shape retention
- Side seams for added structure and durability
- Shoulder tape for enhanced stability and fit
- Unisex fit designed for adults
- Lightweight fabric with a classic fit
- Fabric blend (Heather colors): 90% cotton, 10% polyester
- Perfect for layering, accessorizing, and year-round wear
Care Instructions
- Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry on low heat
- Iron, steam, or dry on low heat
- Do not dry clean